thirteen
Posted on September 30, 2011
My baby boy is 13 years old today. I think I might be having a harder time with this than when I turned 40! It’s actually hard to believe how much has happened in those 13 years.
Reece was the catalyst for Andrew and I staying together….his impending birth was not only a surprise (okay, it was a shock), but ended up being the glue that our emerging, fragile relationship needed to hold it together. Of course, we didn’t know any of this then. All we knew was that we were terrified and entering into the unknown territory of parenthood, without even being married first. Suddenly, we went from dating for a couple of years to expecting a baby and moving in together. I was 27, Andrew was 26…..and we weren’t even sure we wanted to be together forever, much less parents….
Thirteen years later, we have three kids, a suburban existence and a stronger relationship than I would have ever thought possible. And it all started with Reece. The boy who would teach us more patience than either of us ever thought possible. The boy who would teach us how to be parents and how to unconditionally love. The boy who didn’t speak until age 4. The boy with the most gentle and pure soul. The boy who would later become diagnosed with Autism.
Someone told me once that having a child with Autism is like grieving for the loss of a child who isn’t dead. Grieving for the life you wanted for them, that he will never have. It’s been a tough journey at times, but watching this child grow and become who he is has been absolutely incredible. I am so deeply proud of him for all his hard work – 30 hours a week of therapy after being in school all day – for three years. Special diets and countless doctor visits, a lifetime of speech therapy, social skills classes and just generally having to work harder than most of his peers….he’s a superstar. I can’t wait to see what the next thirteen years brings. Pretty sure he’s gonna surprise us all even more.
the one and only scrapbook page I have ever created
my "man-child" ~ taken today, on the eve of his bday. he thought the coke bottle should be in the shot 
Unexpected Greatness
Posted on June 19, 2011
Sometimes I use my blog for personal posts too….I keep meaning to do more of them, but then life sorta just gets in the way. Today, I am using my blog to honor someone special to me…someone I consider my very best friend, someone I cannot imagine living without. No, it’s not my iPad.
Those of you who know me, know the story of how a boy became a Dad before he became a husband. Andrew was a mere 26 years old (young by Los Angeles standards) when we were thrust into parenthood, somewhat “unexpectedly”. We were young and carefree, living in Hollywood, partying our way through our twenties with great friends and more than our share of alcohol.
perhaps I could have worn less makeup.....
We had dated for over a year…..got through that break up…..that Andrew likes to call “Renee’s whore days”. I have no idea why. But I digress…
When we found out we were going to be parents, we were not living together, still on unstable ground in our relationship, and Andrew was scheduled to leave for Ireland to shoot a movie for six weeks…..to say that we were in the midst of change would be an understatement. Those were interesting times
By the time Reece was born, we had moved into an adorable duplex near the Hollywood Bowl and were dipping our feet into the world of diapers, baby vomit and sleepless nights. I knew I’d be ok…eventually, but I had NO idea how good a father Andrew would be. He was there every step of the way during the Bradley classes and the 24 hour labor. He begged me to let him bathe Reece (I was a tad controlling – shocking, I know) He would get up with him during the night, even when he had to be on set early. Didn’t all Dads do this?! Apparently not, as I found out during Gymboree classes, most of which he insisted on going to with us.
sexy, right?!
I posted an article on my facebook page yesterday that I just love – a father (much like Andrew) telling Dads to literally “wake up” and just be there for their kids. It resonated with me mainly because it was another great reminder of how amazing my husband is. Is he perfect? No. Does he drive me crazy sometimes? Yes. God, yes. (I, however, am perfect and I’m sure he’d tell you that). It was another opportunity to reflect on the unexpected greatness of Andrew. We all make mistakes as parents (we have to keep therapists in business after all!) but in the end, I’m so thankful that my kids have a father who has been there every step of the way for them, and continues to be. A father who gets his toenails painted by his daughter, has tea parties, and then chases the boys around the house with nerf guns until my ears feel like they will explode. It doesn’t even matter that he leaves the bullets all over the house. (I’m lying, of course, it totally drives me insane.) A father who always tucks his kids in at night, complete with kisses and hugs and never fails to say “I love you”. A father who, when faced with his oldest son’s autism diagnosis, didn’t deny it and run screaming from it; rather, met it head on and became that son’s advocate. And now, a father who is determined to keep the lines of communication open between himself and his pre-teen children so they feel comfortable enough to talk to him about literally anything. He nurses sicknesses, cleans up vomit, puke, and dries tears…..and sometimes does that for the kids too. He washes dishes, folds laundry, totes all three kids with him to auditions when I have to work, teaches them to ride bikes, and is their biggest fan. He’s spending today driving Seth 3 hours to camp and then driving 3 hours home.
I’ve often joked that being married to an actor, especially this actor, is like being on a roller coaster – and it still is. I wouldn’t trade this madness for anything. Happy Father’s Day to MY hero, Andrew Bowen, and to all the amazing fathers out there who are truly present with their kids ~ that is more of a gift to them than any amount of money could ever be.
I made this slideshow last year for Andrew ~ no, I didn’t have time to make a new one; this one will have to be good for at least the next 4 years…by then, the kids will look too different and I’ll have to put forth more effort at that point.
